Humor with a twist of lemon

10 Things a woman never says to a man

anwin — Mon, 05 May 2008 13:20:16 +0000

Not in any particular order

I am only with you for the money
You don’t have to get committed to me
I don’t need any “special treatment” (read money and attention)
You don’t have to call me again
Let’s do an abortion
I don’t want marriage or kids
I love your mom
Please go ahead and have a great nitght out with your ‘ex’
Love is not the thing, sex is the only thing
I don’t want to shop or talk

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10 Things a man never says to a woman

anwin — Sat, 03 May 2008 07:14:43 +0000

Not in any particular order.

I am already married
I just want to sleep with you
I am bored with your yapping all the time
I think your friend is sexy
I think you are fat
You are not worth the money I spend on you
I have another girl friend
You are not beautiful, you are just another pretty face for me
I think you should stop talking and jump into bed with me. RIGHT NOW!
Sex was great but I am never going to call you again

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Figure It Out for Yourself

anwin — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 12:48:57 +0000

No one to help, no advice, what you hear is never true. So…go figure it yourself.

You’re Lonely When You’re Dead

anwin — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 10:42:15 +0000

“You are always alone, alive or dead” – New City Saying.

Twelve Chinks and a Woman

anwin — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 12:11:41 +0000

Is thirteensome a word?

No Orchids For Miss Blandish

anwin — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 12:10:50 +0000

Unusual shapes and beautiful colours – the dead don’t appreciate!

Dance like it hurts

anwin — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 11:06:03 +0000

Dance like it hurts,
Love like you need money,
Work when people are watching.

Scott Adams, The Way of the Weasel
US cartoonist (1957 – )

From Quotes of the day

Trespassers will be prostituted

anwin — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 13:32:17 +0000

From Neatorama.

Dutch Cops Let Man Off the Hook(er)

anwin — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 15:38:14 +0000

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands – When Dutch police stopped a car for a broken headlight and noticed the driver was accompanied by a prostitute, they gave him a break , and let him pay the traffic fine in cash rather than sending the ticket to his home.

“In the spirit of Christmas … the man was allowed to leave the police station euro50 ($75) poorer but with an easy heart,” a statement by Utrecht police Friday said.

The 40-year-old man, whose identity wasn’t released, acknowledged the woman was a street prostitute after being stopped Thursday evening, the statement said.

Regulated prostitution in brothels is legal here, while street prostitution is illegal.

The officer wrote the man a ticket for the headlight and said it would arrive in an official police envelope.

Link

Christmas card arrives 93 years late

anwin — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 15:33:42 +0000

The Associated Press

OBERLIN, Kan. –

A postcard featuring a color drawing of Santa Claus and a young girl was mailed in 1914, but its journey was slower than Christmas. It just arrived in northwest Kansas.The Christmas card was dated Dec. 23, 1914, and mailed to Ethel Martin of Oberlin, apparently from her cousins in Alma, Neb.

It’s a mystery where it spent most of the last century, Oberlin Postmaster Steve Schultz said. “It’s surprising that it never got thrown away,” he said. “How someone found it, I don’t know.”

Ethel Martin is deceased, but Schultz said the post office wanted to get the card to a relative.

That’s how the 93-year-old relic ended up with Bernice Martin, Ethel’s sister-in-law. She said she believed the card had been found somewhere in Illinois.

“That’s all we know,” she said. “But it is kind of curious. We’d like to know how it got down there.”

Link